Thursday, January 28, 2010

Heidi Montag: Yoga Disciple and Gift to Paparazzi Everywhere

At this stage I'm sure I've exhausted everybody's patience for talking about Hills related matters. And I honestly feel like I shouldn't be paying Heidi Montag any more attention then she is due. But holy balls.. this video of her doing yoga for staged paparazzi photos is unbelievable. The video and photos can be seen at The Superficial, a really great gossip blog here. And below is the video in question. Brace yourselves for this one:

I'm aware that there is room for some searing analysis here where you point out how years of playing pretend with her own life for a "reality TV show" have warped Heidi's own perception of herself and made her a mass media product. Spending her life tied to a constructed reality has meant in an attempt to construct her own she has become the embodiment of a media cliche that everyone feels they have to live up to but nobody really wants to be.

But all I can think as somebody who has just started doing yoga  that isn't a bit wierd that her instructor doesn't talk to her at all? And also point out that I'm quite glad I never had breast implants as it clearly doesn't help your downward dog (that's a yoga pose, you dirtbirds). In fact it probably throws off your balance. By the way I do my classes here, I would recommend it! Although I don't have photographers at my classes. Yet.

Also what would happen if Kelly Cutrone worked with Heidi Montag? Would Kelly have to go outside to cry? Or would she be able to given how immobile her face is? Did they just immobilise her tear ducts aswell?

So. Many. Questions.

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