An Open Letter To Katy Perry Re: American Idol Guest Judge Spot

Dear Katy Perry,

I know that not too long ago I made fun of your work with Timbaland. Because I found your appearance in the video hilarious as you mugged you way through the whole enterprise like a true fool. "What a fool" I said to myself as you jigged around with Timbo and then sat around with ridiculous sunglasses on. I may find your Betty Boo/30s film star look a tad cliched, am convinced you will have your heart broken by Russell "I'm a sex addict 4eva" Brand and am not sure how good your voice actually is BUT you have won my respect.

Because when you guest judged on American Idol you did something nobody else has done on these shows. You reminded us that it is about talent not sob stories. Below watch Katy remind a rather earnest Kara Dioguardi that the show "isn't a lifetime movie". Thank you Katy. If I had to sit through another "my dog died pllleeeaasseee let me in" moments I was going to scream.

Also I like that you aren't afraid to talk back and not worry about being seen as bitchy. Given that Dannii Minogue and Cheryl Cole are put down as fierce rivals just because they are women sitting at the same table at least you aren't afraid to talk Kara out of her ridiculous moments.

Nicely played. If they could have you and Paula Abdul as judges on The X Factor USA I'd be quite happy. If you could sort that out it could be great.

lots of love and growing admiration,

Conor

Album Review: Ke$ha unleashes her inner "Animal"

From building internet buzz to a guest appearance with Flo Rida, Ke$ha has ridden the crest of a wave all through the still huge Tik Tok right up to the release of her debut album Animal. Already a number one hit in the US and available on iTunes here, the CD is released tomorrow on our fair shores and begins what sets to be a big year the Californian crazy girl.

With production mainly coming from Dr Luke and a gaggle of other hot producers "Animal" is undeniably slick pop, bursting with hooks and swagger. There is enough rough charm from Ke$ha to keep things afloat. Her shtick is half rap, half singing, all hot mess. This is a girl who parties hard, uses and abuses boys at the drop of a hat but has a soft side that "can't take rejection" (as she laments on the downbeat but sweet standout "Stephen").

If it sounds like the stuff of cliche that it's because it kind of is. But it's also charged through with enough electro sheen and ridiculously catchy hooks to lure you in. Blah Blah Blah with duo of the moment 30H!3, the 2nd single, will lodge in your brain for days (a worthy successor to the big fun and even bigger chorus of Tik Tok). The gleefully hedonistic sheen of Take It Off and Party At A Rich Dude's House will do much the same. And some of the initial internet leaks that gave Ke$ha buzz with the bloggers and such reappear here such as Boots and Boys and Backstabber. The slower moments aren't quite engaging apart from the aforementioned Stephen and the brooding title track.

It might become a bit one note and drowning in layers of production at times but overall "Animal" is brash, enjoyable and great fun. Great, trashy pop is hard to find but on this release Ke$ha delivers it in spades. Well worth a look.

Better Off As Blair? Leighton Meester Attempts Pop Stardom

Leighton Meester is generally quite amazing. Everybody knows she is the real star of Gossip Girl (so sick of hearing about Blake "American Sienna" Lively) and she has the laidback charm many a starlet lack these days (her co-star Taylor "Little J" Momsen springs to mind with her faux Courtney Love carry on.). She has brought one of the most enjoyable bee-otches on TV to life, has a pleasingly barmy sense of style and generally seems not to give a shit. These are all good things.


Leighton has also spent the last while trying her hand at being a popstar. I can't decide where I stand on this. In one sense why shouldn't she try her hand at new things? But then on the other it seems like a campaign that might never get off the ground. There was some initial leaks last year including a rather lovely cover of Bette Davis Eyes which lead to Miss Meester being signed to Universal. Soon after that she appeared on Cobra Starship's Good Girls Go Bad which was as far as I'm concerned a fantastic pop tune. The fact that it reached #7 on the Billboard Hot 100 also gave her a proper hit. Kind of. (There was also another Leighton leak Body Control which I find quite enjoyable, see it here)

Leighton's own debut single with Robin Thicke debuted last October (I've already discussed it being rather lovely and the video here). It didn't make any impact, despite sounding pretty radio friendly. There was also a rather questionable cover of Darlene Love's Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) which I'm going to gloss over. There were some cringe inducing live performaces too (of both the single and a new track which doesn't sound like much cop) including some horrifically cheesy back up dancers. At one point you expect them to high five Leighton. Awful:

There is talk of a new single with Lil' Wayne (who hasn't he a done a song with at this point?) but a new track leaked in the last week said to be the title track for her forthcoming album. "Your Love's A Drug" is straightforward, slightly grating synth pop but also incredibly catchy. 

The songs so far have been good but the time it is taking for anything to come together suggest a classic case of TV actress not being able to properly devote time to her music. Leighton may or may not become a great popstar but in the meantime we can rely on some enjoyable tunes to keep up busy. Your Love's A Drug is ridiculously catchy and the kind of straightforward radio ready stuff that might give her a chance at the top of the pop heap. With a number of big producers (Red One, Polow Da Don, Harvey Mason Jr.) on board it sounds like some big tunes are in the offing. If not at least we'll always have Blair Waldorf.

Heidi Montag: Yoga Disciple and Gift to Paparazzi Everywhere

At this stage I'm sure I've exhausted everybody's patience for talking about Hills related matters. And I honestly feel like I shouldn't be paying Heidi Montag any more attention then she is due. But holy balls.. this video of her doing yoga for staged paparazzi photos is unbelievable. The video and photos can be seen at The Superficial, a really great gossip blog here. And below is the video in question. Brace yourselves for this one:





I'm aware that there is room for some searing analysis here where you point out how years of playing pretend with her own life for a "reality TV show" have warped Heidi's own perception of herself and made her a mass media product. Spending her life tied to a constructed reality has meant in an attempt to construct her own she has become the embodiment of a media cliche that everyone feels they have to live up to but nobody really wants to be.


But all I can think as somebody who has just started doing yoga  that isn't a bit wierd that her instructor doesn't talk to her at all? And also point out that I'm quite glad I never had breast implants as it clearly doesn't help your downward dog (that's a yoga pose, you dirtbirds). In fact it probably throws off your balance. By the way I do my classes here, I would recommend it! Although I don't have photographers at my classes. Yet.

Also what would happen if Kelly Cutrone worked with Heidi Montag? Would Kelly have to go outside to cry? Or would she be able to given how immobile her face is? Did they just immobilise her tear ducts aswell?


So. Many. Questions.

Amazing Book Alert: Kelly Cutrone Becomes An Author

I'm quite delighted that I can write about Kelly Cutrone twice within the space of a week. While I was out the other night a rather excited Eimear (of The Miseducation, one of my favourite blogs) informed that she'd pre-ordered a copy of Kelly's book. This was news to me so today I had to dig around a bit more. It was actually announced in March of last year (see here and here) and sounds quite exciting. "A real girl's guide to the real fucking world" apparently. Brilliant.


To be honest I was sold on that much and then I saw the title and the front cover. Then... I was truly sold:

I love it all. That title! THAT TITLE! "If you have to cry, go outside" is my new catchphrase. And yes my mother never told me that. Thanks for nothing mom. I love the uber airbrushed cover picture that is equal parts sligthly scary headmistress, big sister and ball busting PR maven. Amazing times one billion.

I cannot wait to read this. Either by stealing Eimear's copy (I'm sorry, I meant borrow) or you know forking out for a copy myself.

You can order a copy here. And may this first post of a literary nature lead to many more insightful book posts on Pop Culture Platinum. You know, should Lindsay Lohan release a book or something. 

That's all readers.

IF YOU HAVE TO CRY, GO OUTSIDE.

Oh, I think that is definitely going to catch on.

Avril Lavigne Returns With A Little Help From Tim Burton and "Alice"

Awhile back an e-mail came my way about the forthcoming Almost Alice soundtrack for Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland feature. It's your usual "music inspired the film" effort with a interesting if slightly crazy mix of bands. I never thought I'd see the day Franz Ferdinand, 30H!3, Wolfmother and Metro Station would share the same tracklisting but there you go. I've a have a feeling that the younger Burton fans are going to love this and will serve as a neat pop/rock companion piece to Danny Elfman's score. 

Also included on the soundtrack is Avril Lavigne, my reason for remembering this e-mail and posting here in the first place. You can laugh all you want but I've always had a soft spot for her music, always enjoyable pop with great choruses even if her perma-brat act has really started to wear thin. Avril's song for the film Alice (Groundbreaking title alert) is her first release since her last album The Best Damn Thing was released in 2007 (I know, it really only feels like yesterday since "Gilfriend" was everywhere doesn't it?). In much the same way as Keep Holding On for the movie Eragon teased new Avril material, this looks set to do the same. The album doesn't have a set release date (having being moved from the initial November one set last year) but will likely surface soon. Given that this album was written in more of an acoustic style, a contrast to the shamelesly upbeat tone of the last album and Lavigne divorced Sum 41 Deryck Whibley this sounds like it could be a more serious release. Billboard discuss it in their roundup of forthcoming albums for 2010 here


So what about the Alice track? Well it certainly sounds a bit different though I'm hard pushed to figure out if it's in fact any good. It sounds a bit moody in places but it's also marred by rather inane lyrics which is fast becoming Ms Lavigne's trademark. There is a nice lilt in her voice on the chorus but the whole thing falls a bit flat. This one might be a grower but feels more like your usual soundtrack effort. Pleasant but not earth shattering and with a strong air of "the album has the big songs, don't worry" about it.


Still don't be afraid to decide for yourself. Avril's website has the single up to stream right now and if you want to find out more about Almost Alice (I'm sure some of you want to indulge your inner teen emo.) then click here.


Personally I'm still waiting for her to top this:

Is Tina Fey as Clever as She Thinks She Is?

I really do love Tina Fey. She was always Queen of the Funny when she did SNL and the fact she has taken on starring in/producing/writing 30 Rock one of the most consistently funny sitcoms around gives her endless cred in my book. But I can't help but watch this video of her at the SAG awards this week and be a bit miffed: 

It's floating around online today, where I spotted it on Panti's Blog. It's the usual red carpet rubbish. "You look fabulous/who are you wearing" except Tina gets her strop on at the start and asks host Giuliana Rancic if she was one of the people who made fun of her previous outfits. It becomes an odd moment. Tina is obviously annoyed for the fact that she was made fun of and there is a whiff of "I'm above this nonsense" about Tina. Giuliana plays it cool, noting that she did make fun but only because it was because the previous dress didn't do anything for her unlike her current getup (I'd say that she's right but check out both looks here and here).

I don't for a second view the red carpet coverage at E! as particularly worthy journalism. And I certainly see nothing wrong with having a bit of fun with these rather tedious interviews. But am I the only one who think Tina comes off as a bit of a tool in this? If she is really that above this sort of thing then why do the interview? She clearly does it to plug her forthcoming film, but her attitude stinks if she honestly thinks she's above this kind of coverage. Don't bother doing this kind of press if it's above you. Because it makes you come across worse as a result.

The way Tina plays it as a joke makes it even more mean spirited. There's a whiff of the "I've achieved all this and you still make me feel like shit so I'm going to retaliate" about it all.Which is a shame. It'd be very easy to side with Tina. Who isn't super skinny, who doesn't conform to Hollywood stereotypes in alot of ways.

But at the same time if Tina is really worth her salt as a writer/performer and as above this carry on like she seems to think then she should either not do it or just be polite and get it over with. Also she is ten times funnier than barbed insults at people whose job it is to ask inane questions. And besides she still got all dolled up, turned up at the award show and wanted to plug her TV show and her movie. So she's as much as part of the system as anyone else.

But that's just me.